Nothing to Lose

As many of you know, this past year has been full of life-upheaval for me. Going through the process of separation/divorce, I’ve often felt broken. I lost my sense of family, my sense of home, and the future I worked so hard for. I’ve been fortunate to have some good friends and family around me as I’ve struggled to put my life back together. Still, I’ve had a lot of time with myself, to struggle with my doubts and insecurities and to ask myself questions about what I want out of life. Some days, its enough that I just get myself out of bed, fight the loneliness, and get through another day. Some days, I feel like I’m healing, becoming myself again after years of a rocky relationship.

One of the signs that I am healing is that I once again find joy in music. I’ve made some videos of me singing covers which you can find on Youtube. But more importantly, I’ve been writing original songs again. I hadn’t written anything in…at least two years, probably three. I’ve written three songs this year. The first two were melancholy break-up songs, but the latest was a little bit different. I started thinking about the silver lining to being broken, the joy and freedom from having my life plans destroyed.

I had a little bit of free time yesterday to make a rough recording. No auto-tune, immaculate versions. I recorded, added a pre-made drum track, adjusted a few levels, and it has whatever preset effects. I hope to do more projects like this, and either they will get better, or I will get some time in a real studio with an engineer to do it right. In the meantime, enjoy.

Nothin’ to Lose

1 Comment

  1. My first love broke up with me a few months ago. Despite our best efforts the long distance wasn’t working after she shipped off to be an army medic in February. I’m a pretty stoic person, but that broke me. I’m pretty sure I’ve cried more in the past few months than I had in all my years of life prior. I’ve always looked up to you (as I’m sure many others have…you deserve it) and your strength this past year has been encouraging. It’s great to see you getting back into music which reminds me of the song you performed at LOGOS conference years ago. I think it was called You Are Welcome Here. Keep being awesome and have a joy filled Christmas (and party it up on New Years Eve!)


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