Over New Years Eve, I had some quality time to myself at Rehoboth Beach, a much needed break. I lost my marriage at the beginning of 2014, and I lost my Grandmother at the end of 2014. Having my relationship future wiped into a blank slate then being confronted with the fragile nature of life has a way of inspiring self-reflection. I need to stop running from my life, and start running towards something. My quiet time helped me reconnect with that sense of who I am. I was inspired on New Years to write a song. The past two weeks, I’ve spent a few hours each night watching tutorials, and then recording and editing the song together.

Here’s the result: One Strong Love Song

I posted the lyrics to the refrain onto Facebook that night: “Be one. Be strong. Be love. Be song.” These words capture how I want to share my life with this world in the years to come, and come with a dedication to my grandmother, Elizabeth Stevens, who has awakened in me the desire to live again through the power of her death.

So now it’s up to you all, my friends and family. Help me get my message out.

As many of you know, this past year has been full of life-upheaval for me. Going through the process of separation/divorce, I’ve often felt broken. I lost my sense of family, my sense of home, and the future I worked so hard for. I’ve been fortunate to have some good friends and family around me as I’ve struggled to put my life back together. Still, I’ve had a lot of time with myself, to struggle with my doubts and insecurities and to ask myself questions about what I want out of life. Some days, its enough that I just get myself out of bed, fight the loneliness, and get through another day. Some days, I feel like I’m healing, becoming myself again after years of a rocky relationship.

One of the signs that I am healing is that I once again find joy in music. I’ve made some videos of me singing covers which you can find on Youtube. But more importantly, I’ve been writing original songs again. I hadn’t written anything in…at least two years, probably three. I’ve written three songs this year. The first two were melancholy break-up songs, but the latest was a little bit different. I started thinking about the silver lining to being broken, the joy and freedom from having my life plans destroyed.

I had a little bit of free time yesterday to make a rough recording. No auto-tune, immaculate versions. I recorded, added a pre-made drum track, adjusted a few levels, and it has whatever preset effects. I hope to do more projects like this, and either they will get better, or I will get some time in a real studio with an engineer to do it right. In the meantime, enjoy.

Nothin’ to Lose